Is my Pastor a Bully (Part 2)

As we discussed in part 1 - if your pastor shows several of these characteristics they might be a bully. Here are some additional characteristics of a bully. Is a control freak and has a compulsive need to control everyone and everything you say, do, think and believe; for example, will launch an immediate personal attack attempting to restrict what you are permitted to say if you start talking knowledgeably about psychopathic personality or antisocial personality disorder in their presence - but aggressively maintains the right to talk (usually knowledgeably) about anything they choose. Serial bullies despise anyone who enables others to see through their deception and their mask of sanity. Displays a compulsive need to criticize whilst simultaneously refusing to value, praise and acknowledge others, their achievements, or their existence. Shows a lack of joined-up thinking with conversation that doesn’t flow and arguments that don’t hold water. Flits from topic to topic so that you come away feeling you’ve never had a proper conversation. Refuses to be specific and never gives a straight answer. Is evasive and has a Houdini-like ability to escape accountability. Undermines and destroys anyone who the bully perceives to be an adversary, a potential threat, or who can see through the bully’s mask. Is adept at creating conflict between those who would otherwise collate incriminating information about them. Is quick to discredit and neutralize anyone who can talk knowledgeably about antisocial or idiopathic behaviors. May pursue a vindictive vendetta against anyone who dares to held them accountable, perhaps using others’ resources and contemptuous of the damage caused to other people and organizations in pursuance of the vendetta. Is also quick to belittle, undermine, denigrate and discredit anyone who calls, attempts to call, or might call the bully to account. Gains gratification from denying people what they are entitled to. Is highly manipulative, especially of people’s perceptions and emotions. (eg guilt) Poisons peoples’ minds by manipulating their perceptions when called upon to share or address the needs and concerns of others. Responds with impatience, irritability and aggression. Is arrogant, haughty, high-handed, and a know-all. Often has an overwhelming, unhealthy and narcissistic attention-seeking need to portray themselves as a wonderful, kind, caring and compassionate person, in contrast to their behavior and treatment of others; the bully sees nothing wrong with their behavior and chooses to remain oblivious to the discrepancy between how they like to be seen and how they are seen by others. Is spiritually dead although may loudly profess some religious belief or affiliation. Is mean-spirited , officious, and often unbelievably petty. Is mean, stingy, and financially untrustworthy. Is greedy, selfish, a parasite and a emotional vampire. Is always a taker and *never a giver. [Note from Danni: On this one I would say, never a giver unless there is a hidden motive of manipulation to gain.] Is convinced of their superiority and has an overbearing belief in their qualities of leadership but cannot distinguish between leadership (maturity, decisiveness, assertiveness, co-operation, trust, integrity) and bullying (immaturity, impulsiveness, aggression, manipulation, distrust, deceitfulness). Often fraudulently claims qualifications, experience, titles, entitlements or affiliations which are ambiguous, misleading, or bogus Often misses the semantic meaning of language, misinterprets what is said, sometimes wrongly thinking that comments of a satirical, ironic or general negative nature apply to him or herself. Knows the words but not the song. Is constantly imposing on others a false reality made up of distortion and fabrication. Sometimes displays a seemingly limitless demonic energy especially when engaged in attention-seeking activities or evasion of accountability and is often a committeeaholic* or apparent workaholic." Text for this post comes from: http://dannimoss.wordpress.com/clergy-abuse-links/is-your-pastor-a-serial-bully/